The greatest for of empathy is FEEDBACK

“I left our meeting on Tuesday pretty deflated.”

Gulp. “Oh, how come?”

“You basically told me I was shit at this and I didn’t think there were any concrete next steps.”

Silence.

I’m uncomfortable but I recover. I’m grateful for this conversation. I’m being told the very same week that I screwed something up, that I screwed up. I know the impact, and while I don’t know why yet, I’m about to have a talk about how we can do something about it.

This is a partnership. I’m the coach. I own the outcomes, but so does the coachee.

We talk about how he feels. We talk about what I did. And because we are both coaches in different scenarios, we share a lexicon and work through the situation. I’m being coached on how to coach. We identify where I went wrong. We address what I could have done better. I do better. We revisit the key points. We clarify expectations. We check in. Is it all better?

Yes.

How many times have I screwed up coaching moments? A lot I bet, but I’ll never know because I don’t get this feedback often enough.

Jack Welch said that the greatest form of empathy is feedback. So whether you’re the coach or the coachee, please have the courage to give it often.

When was the last time you gave your boss some feedback about how they can help you more effectively?